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Why We Kept Our Surrogate A Secret

Why We Kept Our Surrogate A Secret

Jana Petrosini
Why We Kept Our Surrogate A Secret, Raise Magazine

Not only did we not tell our friends and family that we were expecting, we didn't tell anyone anything. That is, until my mother decided that she was going to throw us a baby shower.

When our surrogate was pregnant with our twins, we didn’t tell anyone that we were “expecting.”

To be “expecting” something usually means that it’s likely to happen. It’s a very optimistic word when describing how you think a pregnancy journey will conclude — with the birth of a child.

But when you’ve been through multiple miscarriages and fertility fails, your expectations change drastically and the only thing you start to expect is that something will go terribly wrong.

Not only did we not tell our friends and family that we were expecting, we didn’t tell anyone anything. That is, until my mother decided that she was going to throw us a baby shower. Our surrogate (best woman on the planet) was seven and a half months pregnant and my mother said, “It’s time to share the good news.”

So we did. In one breath, we told fifty of our closest family, friends, and colleagues everything: “We enlisted the help of a surrogate. She’s pregnant. It’s twin girls. And are you free in two Sundays for a baby shower?”

If you know me, you know that I cannot keep a secret and that I’m a terrible liar. So the fact that I could pull this off and not let the kittens out of the bag, so to speak, is truly a testament to how scared I was and how much I wanted to have those babies in my arms.

We didn’t announce our news online. With a mix of phone calls, video calls, and face-to-face meetings, we were able to hear and see everyone’s reactions. There were many tears of joy, and many called or texted days later saying that it took them a moment to process and they couldn’t stop thinking about us. There was a ton of love, gifts, and well wishes on our baby shower day, and a year later, I wouldn’t change a thing.

Feature image provided lullabiesforjosephinephotography.com.

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